10 Things That Don't Belong on Facebook

Also check out this sweet Chrome extension
that turns pictures of baby humans into
pictures of baby animals and other cool things!
(unbaby.me)

PHOTO DON'Ts

1. Gratuitous photos of your new baby
Or gratuitous baby anything. To spare the internet a repeat of this rant, check out this article that I wrote for ModernMom.com on the Do's and Don'ts of mommy-postings.

2. Photos of food
Because Facebook isn't Instagram, and food should stay on Instagram.
**If you're a baker who posts albums of your latest cakes/cupcakes/sugary treats, though, please disregard this and never ever stop with the pictures.

3. Full makeup/scantily dressed photos with the caption "I may not be pretty, but I have a big heart."
It's needy and depressing, but not enough so to actually give anyone else the feels.

4. Photos of guns and/or dead deer/turkeys
And with this, I'm also going to give a double thumbs down to any profile pictures of trucks with tints and lift kits. Insert any Jeff Foxworthy "you might be a redneck if..." quip here.

5. Save the world with a like/share!
This orphan has a collapsed lung, early onset rheumatoid arthritis AND the bubonic plague! 10,000 likes and doctors will save her!1!!11!

Additionally, Bill Gates is not giving a million dollars to everyone who shares a photo of him holding a photoshopped sign.

STATUS DON'Ts

6. Blathering statuses about political issues
Annoying, but acceptable in November of a Presidential election year. At any other time, literally no one wants to hear your political opinions. Start a blog or go back to the debate team.

7. Love notes to your significant other
It's verbal PDA and it's gross.

8. Gotcha messages to your exes and/or haters
Facebook is no clothesline, so stop airing out your dirty laundry. NOW GO PUT SOME ALOE ON THAT BURN.

9. Show spoilers
Don't be that guy. Please. #RedWedding

10. Anything that looks or sounds like this:

Sarah Soopersad: =(

Bethany Bestfriend: oh no! whats up gurl?
Sarah Soopersad: dont wanna talk about it
Bethany Bestfriend: ill call u
Sarah Soopersad: no


There you have it, folks. Now go out and make the people love you.

Mississippi's Personhood Bill is Terrifying

This is another political-esque post. Again, I don't usually turn to politics here unless I think it's really warranted. Actually, it's just as much woman's rights as it is politics. Today's topic of rage debate is Mississippi's personhood initiative. 


First thing's first. I am staunchly pro-choice. I am pro-women's rights and pro-health. If your eye is twitching already, stop reading now.


If you're not familiar with the personhood bill, a group of radical pro-lifers are attempting to change state laws to define anything from a fertilized egg on as a "person," making any sort of abortion (and several types of birth control) an act of homicide (but this is not CSI, so everyone chill out). This issue has been all over the news, but this particular Seattle Times article does an pretty good job of showing how frightening and dangerous this proposed bill is. So here's my own list of reasons why this bill makes me cringe.


1. Les Riley, the founder of Personhood Mississippi says: 


"We're just going to the heart of the matter, which is: Is this a person or not? God says it is, and science has confirmed it." 


Well, if I'm correct, the US constitution speaks about the separation of church and state. As in, keep your God out of my government. Passing this bill would effectively impose a certain groups religious beliefs upon an entire state. And the first amendment says: 


"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."


So yes, I'm pro-free speech. Everyone is entitled to their opinions (even if it makes them sound like a blathering toad). I'm not pro-God-in-my-government.

Also, this is on the Personhood Mississippi homepage. FIRST AMENDMENT.

2. Many of the bill's backers believe that abortion is immoral in all cases, meaning that not even rape or incest would justify a pregnancy termination. Oh, and they wouldn't allow abortions to women in serious medical conditions, because a tiny bean sprout with nothing more than an appropriate number of chromosomes is more important than a deathly ill woman in the prime of her life, eh? Oh, and it would bar pregnant cancer patients from being able to undergo chemotherapy treatments, because that would make her a murderer. 

Take me with you.
Source

3. They think that this bill would save lots o' lives. Let's break it down. An abortion in a sterile operating room terminates a fetus. An XY bean sprout that doesn't know...anything. A pointy coat hanger in the corner of a dark alley (or another similarly sketch locale) will terminate both the fetus and in a whole lot of cases, the mother too. Check my math, but I believe that two deaths is one more death than...one death. But I'm not a math major, so let me get my calculator. Okay, I was right.


4. I'm not entirely clear on what gives a state government absolute rights over a woman's uterus. And if they get the uterus, what will they try to take next? Are we seeing the slippery slope?


5. According to the 2010 Guttmacher Institute's study of teen pregnancy, Mississippi had the 5th highest rate of teen pregnancy (it's both sad and interesting that the top 4 are also states with very large Native populations, but I could very literally write an entire blog, not post, on health issues in Indian country). But keep teaching abstinence, Mississippi, because birth control is the tic-tacs of sinners, and you don't want your kiddies to end up in hell for not getting pregnant before they're ready.

But birth control is bad. Very bad. Like, sinner bad.
Source

Whether or not you would have an abortion in whatever circumstance is your prerogative (and yes, that word is spelled correctly). Do what you will with your own body. But don't expect other women to sacrifice their livelihoods (if not lives) to your government and beliefs. This is not an "anti-babies" thing. It's a woman's rights and health issue.


The entire initiative gives me the willies. The logical response is "if you don't like it, don't live there." However, if you give these radicals an inch, they will take a mile. As in, they will try to make it federal law. And I really don't want to have to move to Canada just to protect my rights as a woman. Frankly, the fact that they've gotten so far with this bill is terrifying in itself. And when males start to champion this initiative, I don't even want to bother to argue. It's not that I don't understand the logic behind this bill. I simply think that it's utter bullshit and frankly, it's rather misogynistic. 


Actually, it's really misogynistic. Don't make me burn my bra.

You know you're an English major when...

• Your backpack (or more realistically, your messenger bag/satchel) contains:
• 3+ novels
• Hipster worthy elastic bound journal
• A myriad of pens, pencils, and highlighters...but no calculator
• Post-its of many hues
• A highlighter with post-its in the handle (best.ever.)

Just in case one runs out of ink halfway thorough an annotation...

• You have a pair of hipster reading glasses, but not to look hipster... reading kind of hurts without them

• Your friends are afraid of texting you because you correct their grammar (phrases like "r u @ skool?" make me want to throw dictionaries at people)

• No one wants to play Words With Friends with you

• A great majority of your male classmates are gay of hipster (or both)

• You carry tea and Splenda with you everywhere just in case you need caffeine on the fly

Vital sustenance. 

• Your cell phone screen background is a picture of text from an awesome book (*coughAngelsandDemonscough*)

• Your email address is a literary allusion and the only person who understands it is the cashier at the local book store

• The Oxford English Dictionary subscription website is bookmarked on your favorites bar

**Sigh** I'm so typical.

New (school) year's resolutions

I feel like I should have a beginning of the year resolution list. I'll likely break everything on here within the first month of school, but at least I can say that I'm trying. So, just to appear hardcore and driven and committed, here's a list of things that I am ABSOLUTELY going to do this year. And because everyone should be just like me, I guess this also doubles as a list of things that all college students everywhere should do.**

1. Don't stress. Lolz to the idea that I'll actually be able to sustain this one, considering the fact that I'm generally about as relaxed as a coiled spring. But it's a nice thought, no? I can at least tell myself right now that I'm not going to turn into a stressbomb once the first assignment comes due. Riiight. -_-
2. Be proactive with the work. I'm not going to be the fool who starts everything the night before it's due. I already know that I have two papers due on the same day in October, so I should really start one of them RIGHT NAO. I promise to leave nothing to the 11th hour. At least not on purpose.
3. Buy a smartphone. Because honestly, I hate being away from a computer for 4 hours and then finding 20 new and urgent emails. Also, my NV Touch has basically entered the technological convalescent home for the feeble and temperamental, leaving me with the desire for something shiny and new (and I want apps so baaaaaaaaaad).
4. Go out to parties. I basically stopped doing the social thing last year. I don't really like belligerently drunken, sloppy females or leering, predatory males, but this year, I'm determined to find the parties with the normal people. I even brought tall shoes that make me appear to be average height without tearing my feet to bloody shreds. I need to take advantage of this before I get lazy again and decide to spend my Saturday nights watching movies in my PJs.
5. Actually do something/go someplace for J term/spring break. Because sitting on the couch at home, eating cereal and watching Millionaire Matchmaker and Teen Mom just doesn't scream "best vacation ever."
6. Make it the whole year without computer trouble. Given the fact that electronics come to me when they're ready to pass onto the great surge protector in the sky, this resolution is SO not going to happen, but I can at least pretend like it will be so. Actually, I've already failed. My laptop won't actually be arriving at school until tomorrow because my sweet father is so kindly repairing its broken hinge at home.

This is the state in which I received my computer back from HP. I hope they go belly up.

**Disclaimer: You probably don't actually want to be just like me. I trip a lot and I get stress induced acid reflux/back spasms. Technology also fails in my presence.

I just really like lists.

Things that are awesome:

• Dancing to Waka Waka with Shakira onstage. Life.Complete.

WIN

• A rockin' HIIDT performance in this year's Cultural Rhythms. I love the natives.

We're smiling here. But we generally don't.

• The fact that Cultural Rhythms is over and I have time to breathe again.
• The Shakira Pandora station. Highly recommended. 
• Paula Deen riding a stick of butter.

Mesmerizing.

Things that are NOT awesome:

• Being behind in every one of my classes... Humanities major = perpetually behind in my reading.

FOR ALL OF THE COFFEE I DRINK

• The amount of time that has passed since I last wrote anything here. Supah slackah.
• Not being able to remember the last time I got eight hours of sleep in a night.
• Waking up every morning between 7:30 and 8 to try to catch up on homework. Zombie status.
• Lady Gaga's new video. I'm not even posting it here. My eyeballs wanted to crawl out of their sockets and hide in a corner. But really.

My opinion of Jane Austen

I'm willing to give every author two chances. For example, I read Of Mice and Men in middle school, with an awful teacher and thus, was left with disdain for Mr. Steinbeck. However, in high school, I gave him another chance with East of Eden and I'm insanely glad of it. I was completely taken with East of Eden found a new love for John Steinbeck. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

Well, it's a nice sentiment, anyway.

Barf my brains out.

Wrong. As an English major, I should probably worship Jane Austen. I mean, her name is basically synonymous with classic novels. I started with Emma, excited to begin my foray into Jane Austen. I wanted to like it. I tried to like it. But I just couldn't. And for the next year, I steered clear of Austen's works, unwilling to submit myself to her trite and overworked ideas again. But like I said, everyone deserves a second chance, no? So I tried (and just today finished) Sense and Sensibility. It was painful. I've come to the conclusion that I just can't stand Austen's writing style. Here are a few things that I just can't stand about Austen's style:



1. SO.WORDY: Seriously. Each page seems as if a thesaurus threw up on it just before it was published. Austen is a master of exceeding the word limit and repeating one thought a thousand ways. If any modern day editor got a hold of one of her manuscripts, the story would be cut in half before it ever reached the publishing house.

2. Syrupy, sappy vocabulary: Not everything in the world is "pleasant," "lovely," "amiable," or "agreeable." I don't think that I could put together a more empty list of words if I tried. If someone described me with any of these adjectives, I would consider myself dull, dull, and dull.

3. Everyone talks around their thoughts: In the eternal quest to be non-confrontational and politically correct, characters talk around their real emotions. But don't worry; scenes are always pleasant and agreeable. Everything is so...polite. ARG.

4. Disgustingly happy endings: Everyone ends up marrying exactly who they should, broken hearts are mended, and you're left with a sickeningly sweet aftertaste left in your mouth. NOT real life.

Well, this was a mistake

The worst part is, I did this to myself. I read Sense and Sensibility of my own volition. I know that I'll be faced with Pride and Prejudice sometime before I'm allowed to accept my English degree and I'm already dreading it. I don't want to read it, I don't want to analyze it, and I don't want to write a paper on it. But I suppose that's getting ahead of myself. For now, I'll relish the time that I'm spared from her works.

Please, god NO.

Call me a bad English major. I can take it.

Tired, slightly windburned, and very happy

And FINALLY, my skiing season started. It certainly took long enough, considering we're almost halfway through January and I just now made it to a mountain. Mount Snow, that is. I've visited the resort at least once per year since I was about 9 years old, always on a bus trip through my town's parks and rec. committee (yeah, the ski trips are pretty much the best thing my town does all year). I love me some group-discount tickets. Here are a few ups and downs, because I refuse to believe in complete perfection:



Epic wins:

• Fresh, ungroomed powder
• Continuous natural snow throughout the day (but not so much that I couldn't see)
• An entire day of skiing. Enough said.
• Sitting next to an attractive ski instructor from Berkshire East on a lift
• Getting the gold chair on one of the lifts on the North Face
• Bruised shins - I love battle scars
• New snow pants and mittens  (mittens > gloves)
• Moguls that actually had snow left on them (much preferred to the icy bumps that are generally left around at the end of the season)

Only pansies stay inside during wintertime. 

Epic Fails:

• Gale force winds and slow lifts
• Hoards of children wanting to show off their MAD SKILLZ because it was "youth pay their age day" GET OFF OF MY LAWN.
• Totally eating it...on a lift trail where lots of people could watch and laugh
• Waking up at 5am to catch the bus. And consequently becoming Queen B*tch, from the land of "I Hate Everyone and Everything" for the next couple of hours.

Deliver me from misery.

Furthermore, skiing makes me feel like I'm exploring in Narnia (major props to my girl Izabel here). I love the snowy evergreens and scampering and fluttering wildlife. I like thin, secluded trails and interesting glades. I've never gotten to a ski resort through a wardrobe, but I'll find Narnia, yet. Wait for it... Bring on the Turkish fudge and the ice castle.

And I'll be best friends with Mr. Tumnus. Obviously.

Okay, so now that I've presented myself as slightly neurotic and enamored with mythical snowy lands, who wants to rent a zip car for a day and go skiing with me once we get back to school? I won't even talk about Narnia. Much.

New Year's Eve Mediocrity

Happy New Year y'all,

Did everyone have a rockin' New Year's Eve, filled with happiness, debauchery, and photos? I certainly hope so, because I'd love to live vicariously through people's Facebook photos. Personally, my New Year's Eve consisted of watching a DVD in my living room, but that's mostly because I think that New Year's is a sham of a holiday. Here's why:

1. Our calender is arbitrary. There's no real beginning and end of the year, so many, many years ago, a couple of ancients decided that they would put the start-stop point some time in the middle of a season.

Well, if you want to be all mainstream.

2. New Year's doesn't even mark the beginning of a season. Wouldn't it make more sense for a year to be a complete cycle of spring, summer, fall, and winter (or any variation of this pattern, depending on one's position on the planet) -- the next year would start at the beginning of the next spring (or other beginning season). Okay, this is really an offshoot of number one.

LOOK. One year. One complete year.

3. We just had Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza... we don't really need another holiday just yet. I'm still recovering from that sugar shock.

The cookie jar isn't even empty yet.

4. It's a time to make resolutions that we know we won't keep past January.

Truth. I change for no one.

5. There's nothing left to celebrate at 12:01am.

Party's over.

6. New Year's decorations are crap. The tacky cardboard glasses, overabundance of confetti and rainbow of glitter are sad excuses for decorations. I'm wholly unimpressed by New York's giant sparkly countdown ball.

NOT THAT COOL.

7. The TV specials generally gets pretty crappy performers for the midnight performances. This year was Lil Wayne. Sorry, but I'm a hater. And haters gonna hate. 

Go home.

8. There's no traditional New Year's food. Christmas and Valentine's Day have cookies, Halloween has candy, and Easter has eggs. What does New Year's have to show for itself? Champagne. And no one really likes champagne anyway. But in any case, champagne is not a food. So there.

The pop is cool. But that's about it.

9. New Year's thinks that it's all about fireworks. But that's the 4th of July's territory. So New Year's should step off.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, AMERICA.

10. New Year Eve day thrives on TV marathons of shows like House, NCIS etc... But these happen all year. And they're really just not that special when they occur so often. 

It's pretty much on 24/7 anyway.

So that's it. Happy friggen' New Years. Here's to casting out 2010 and making the broad assumption that 2011 is going to rock our socks off.

CHEERS

There's no place like home

There are some aspects of home that simply can't be matched at school. Sure, Harvard fills my heart with rainbows and unicorns, but it's the small things that I often don't realize that I miss while I'm away. Here's a look at some of the most taken for granted aspects of living at home (in no particular order, because I like lists, but not hierarchies):

1. Real Cheerios - not Toasty Os. This is not a case in which the knock off is made in the same factory as the brand name product. Toasty Os taste like the perspiration of the Oscar the Grouch compared to real Cheerios. I've been lowering my cholesterol (disclaimer: I have no idea if this heart-healthy claim has an ounce of truth to it) on the daily since arriving home. I feel like a 4 year old with finger food again.

I have tried you. And you taste like chemically-treated sawdust.

You don't really want them until you're given a unsuitable alternative.

 2. Driving - I don't love driving, but I always miss it when I'm at school. And the first drive upon arriving home always feels so liberating. No more must I rely on the whims of public transportation -- because who really knows whether or not the city bus is going to arrive on time (or at all)? I even missed controlling the radio while I drive. I need that constant introduction to the newest Top 40 hits. Oh, and check out my sweet ride:

 Just kidding. I drive a mini-van.

3. My pets - Despite the fact that animal dander turns me into a sneezing, crying, itchy mess, I love my cat and my dog. Animals are supposed to warm the heart, no? Below is a photo my my beloved kitty. Disregard the hatred pouring from her eyes. It's from the flash of the camera, I swear.

This is my cat. She fits in a box.

4. A constantly clean bathroom - The cleaning lady at school (no, my building isn't serviced by dorm crew) doesn't come often enough. At home, the bathroom is always sparkling and shiny clean. I've never seen a dorm bathroom that didn't make me shudder at least a little on the inside.

LOVE.

5. The Laundry Advantage - There are several elements of at-home-laundry that make me extra cheeky and smiley. For one, I like not having to drag two weeks of heavy laundry down the stairs, outside, across several entryways and down another flight of stairs (and back again). I also like having my laundry done more frequently than every two weeks.I also like not having to pay for it. Or having my clothes removed from the washer and left in a wet heap. Or having to set my clothes through 2 dry cycles because the "high efficiency" dryers actually totally inefficient. Okay, I whine a lot about school laundry days. But so does everyone else. So don't judge me.

Oh yeah, and this happens to all of my clothing at school.

6. Good Coffee - I had forgotten that coffee didn't always taste like the muddy water of the Mississippi river. At home, I can enjoy a good cup of coffee while watching the birds at the bird feeder (because I'm actually 85 years old) but at school, it's no more than a method of loading caffeine into my system.

This is what happens when I have 2+ cups...

7. Trees - Cambridge has too much pavement. Being from the sticks, I get lonely for a tree to hug every once in a while. I'm not used to so much concrete; I need trees and grass and sticks and mud to be a happy little forest critter. I may or may not be a bit of a hippie. 

Yes, I'm a crotchety old person. GET OFF OF MY LAWN, ALRIGHT?

Oh, and I suppose that friends and family and home cooked meals and all that jazz are important too.

It's Blizzard Time!

Babes in a hot-tub. Nice.

I love snow. Life would be pretty sweet if I were Japanese Macaque. I would live in the highlands, carry snowballs around, and chill with my friends in natural hot springs. What a sweet life (disclaimer: this opinion may be generated by my having just completed a course on primates.

D'awwwwwwwwww

But I digress. I was talking about the wintery, blustery, snowy mayhem outside right now. The wind is howling and the snowing is blowing sideways, and I couldn't be happier about it. Remember when a storm meant no school, hot cocoa, and silly hats? Well, I can't wait until tomorrow morning when I can drink my coffee, look out the window, and feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside (I love the warm fuzzies). Here are some wintery memories that make me want to put on my snow suit right now:

1. Making an igloo out of shoveled driveway snow.

2. Spontaneously engaging my father in snowball fights. I was rarely met with retaliation.

3. Sledding down the greens at the local golf course. Awesome tip: To make your sled extra fast, spray the bottom with cooking spray. WIN.

4. Coming inside to warm radiators, fresh cookies, and hot cocoa.

nomnomnom

5. Watching the bird feeder outside the kitchen window. Admittedly, this makes me sound like a senior citizen/member of the Audubon society, but few sights are as beautiful as a bright red cardinal flitting across white snow drifts and stopping on evergreen boughs.

6. Flopping backwards into a snow drift and not even worrying about cracking my head open. In hindsight, this may have been a bad idea.

7. Eating fistfuls of snow and telling myself that they were actually just super-healthy sno-cones. Totally not the same...

I was really good at pretending.

8. Taking my dog outside to watch her bound through the snow drifts like a gazelle in high grass. And she's just so dern cute when she snuffles snow up her nose. 

9. Opening my bedroom window to the protruding roof outside. This is important because it allowed me to eat snow, make snowballs, and measure snow-fall height without going outside. Or even leaving my room. So, I may or may not have had a lazy streak. Or....I was incredibly innovative. 

10. Walking words and pictures into the snow with my bootprints. This was most rewarding when I got to make the first tracks across the yard after a storm. I am the maker of footprints and the traverser of pure terrains. I love walking on fresh snow.

SNOW PALACE. WANT. 

I wish I wrote a sweet blog.

I wish I had a themed blog -- something that people could click on and know what to expect from. Everyone seems to have blogs with some sort of order, but my ideas just seem to bounce around at random. Like atoms. I just made a science joke. Anyway, I guess that makes it a rather accurate depiction of what goes on inside of my head. Here's a list of blogs that I wish that I wrote:

1. Humor/Drawing blog - I love the blogs with stick figure drawings in combination with humorous narratives. I wish that I was witty and talented with my laptop's Paint feature. Alas, there are a few kinks in this setup. I, personally, think that I'm a riot, but I'm pretty sure that the rest of the world is laughing at me, rather than with me. Oh, and I can't draw anything besides misshapen flowers and spray painted lines on Paint. Maybe that's because I'm artistically challenged in real life as well.

Now, why can't I come up with witty drawings like this? Sidenote: I really enjoy this ven-diagram.

2. Food blog - This would indicate that I regularly cook delicious desserts and sweet treats (because I wouldn't even think of writing a food blog about anything other than deserts). Unfortunately, I'm not patient enough to cook (which is the real reason that I eat so many raw foods) and I'm really not Paula Dean on the inside. Thinking of the positives, not centering my life around desserts is probably better for the waistline. I'm not that willing to be Paula Dean, y'all.

nomnomcholesterolnomnom

3. Political humor blog - Unfortunately, I'm far too overwhelmed by the political atmosphere to write a political blog and fend those who would feel it their duty to tell me why my opinions are wrong.  Oh, and I really don't want to be indicted for some sort of unintentional libel or slander. Sometimes, the government scares me. And by sometimes, I mean most of the time. I don't think I'd really fit in in prison.

Political correctness has a butt-chin.

4. Wild and Crazy Adventures - This would be a really cool idea if I partied harder, broke more rules, or lived a little closer to the edge. Too bad I'm relatively mild mannered and not much of an initiator. I think people would be suspicious if I suddenly started living a more Ke$ha-inspired life.

It's really more of a Halloween costume than a lifestyle.

5. Advice column - How sweet would it be if people came to me with their problems and I could advise their troubles away? I mean, I can't stop myself from reading the advice columns in my newspapers and magazines, even though sometimes their petty subjects make me want to buy a full page Ad that says "SUCK IT UP." If I had an advice column, I would only answer the most interesting morally gut-twisting questions. Now wouldn't that just make me a hero? This plan has it's flaws, though. For starts, I've got enough problems of my own; I couldn't begin to worry about other people's issues. Furthermore, I'm simply not a good advisor. I'm an indecisive pansy in real life. Ah well, people's problems are better left in Abby's hands, anyway.

Wait, if I could charge for it, why would I give dish it out for free?

The moral of the story is, I wish that I had the vision and resolve to give my blog some sort of order, but I'm just too disorganized for all of that. There's not much direction going on upstairs, so I suppose that a cohesive blog with clear direction would just make for a rather misleading representation of who I am. I have ideas sometimes. I like to write about them. Cool.

Highlights of that Magical Morning

Merry Christmas Y'all!

What's more magical than Christmas morning? The halls are decked, the house smells like pine needles and hot cocoa, and the kids are more than ready to quit acting like angels. And oh yeah, presents.

LIKE OMG IT'S PRESENT TIME!

Here are some highlights from Christmas morning:

1. A perfect looking decorated tree with presents underneath and stockings on the fireplace stuffed with goodies. Consumerism really warms the heart, does in not? But all sarcasm aside, have you ever seen a more idyllic looking Christmas-scape??

Dawwwww, What could be prettier than this?

2. Delicious Christmas-morning apple casserole. Complements to my mother. Nomnomnom.

3. My dog running around and drooling and shedding and jumping and panting with holiday cheer (read: hyperactivity) until she passed out in a lump of snores and sprawling fur atop her new bean-bag chair.

Sometimes, she falls off the bean-bag mid-snore. It's a bit tall for her.

4. Seeing this upcoming weather forecast. It may not be a white Christmas, but the snow is coming. I am the ice queen. Imma go sledding, and throw snowballs, and make a snowman, and flop into a snow angel... and probably shovel the driveway. Victory (for the most part).

6-10 inches, baby. It's igloo time.

5. Hearing the stories of various family members' births from my Grandmother. She always has something worth-while to say. And as an ex-nurse, she makes her stories all the more realistic (read: frightening) with medical terminology and description.

It's the most wonderful time of the year. HAPPINESS AND CHEER. Don't even consider acting like a grump today. If there was ever a day to force-feed yourself with good food, smiles, and joy, it's Christmas day.