Cooking for Myself - Why do People Like This?

It was the summer of ice cream and hummus.

For anyone living in an apartment, away from Mom or the dining hall for the first time, agree with me that feeding oneself isn't as simple as it sounds. Dining hall food isn't very good, but it's always there, pre-cooked and available in nearly unlimited quantities. Oh, and there's always someone there to do the dishes. Drop them in the tray return and be on your way. Anyway, apparently, having your own kitchen comes with responsibilities and all that jazz. Here are some kitchen-related facts and pro-tips that I've discovered while attempting to feed myself for the summer.

1. Groceries are expensive. 

Especially when you're shopping for the entire week at a time. I now shop by price-per-unit and what's on sale, rather than what brand is tastiest.

1a. It totally makes sense that obesity and poverty are correlated. 

Because seriously, produce is really, really expensive compared to Hot Pockets and Little Debbie. (Bonus pro-tip: buy citrus fruit in bulk when it's on sale. It doesn't spoil nearly as quickly as other fruits)

2. "Meals" don't happen. 

I don't really know how moms everywhere do it, but by the time you get home at 6 or 6:30, you're tired, you're hungry, and unless you plan on auditioning for Top Chef anytime soon, the last thing you want to do is cook something. As a result, dinners tend to come out of pre-packaged containers, and they're rarely, if ever, well-rounded.

3. Buying vegetables doesn't mean that you'll cook and/or eat them.

Especially when that involves turning the stove on and waiting. They look totally responsible sitting in the freezer, though.

4. Bananas and avocados will always go south before you get the chance to eat them

But you'll keep buying them, with the hopes that it'll be better next time.

5. Ice cream can be a food group!

Well, not really, but you'll try to make it one.

6. Instant pudding can also be a food group.

I really don't have a lot more to say on this one, except that cook&serve = pudding skin, while instant = no skin.

7. Doing the dishes sucks. Even when you have a dishwasher. 

Dirty dishes will still pile up in the sink, because you were too lazy to take the clean ones out of the washer. So the whole "modern convenience" of the appliance is sort of ousted if you're not proactive enough to maintain it. And someone please tell me why Cascade brand dish soap smells so bad. I know that my plates are clean, but I really hate that just-rinsed dishwasher smell.

8. Spoons are the limiting factor

Just like you have to do laundry because you've run out of clean underwear, you'll also have to do the dishes because you've run out of clean spoons.

9. Crumbs. Everywhere.

I don't even eat that much bread. No matter how often you wipe the counter and stove down though, it'll always look like someone smashed a bag of crackers and used the resultant mess to lightly dust every flat surface.

For some reason, I thought I was more domestic than all that.

What's With the New MacBook Pro?

ZOMG NEW APPLE PRODUCT

I'm feeling rather troubled about the new MacBook Pro. I suppose I should be impressed with the new notebook simply because it's new, it's silver, and it has a backlit fruit on the cover, but I've never really liked the Apple groupies who think that way.

Basically, I don't know exactly what's going here. There wasn't a huge amount of hype for the new Pro's release (well, unless you found yourself in the depths of the techie blogs, but I try to avoid that corner of the internet), and it just sort of popped up on the Apple site a few days ago. This is weird because Apple's all about the thrill of the chase and making their customers wait in agony, much like the tense hours before 12:01am on Black Friday.

I've been holding off on purchasing a new computer for a few months now, while I wait patiently for my turd of an HP product's hard drive to take the big sleep. I thought to myself: "hey, maybe it's time for a Mac, since my technology IQ is well...just barely functional." After wading through hell and high water with this HP laptop (like when this and this happened), watching the boyfriend have his own maddening experience with the folks at Dell, and seeing a friend's ThinkPad basically turn into an energy-sucking, slow-as-shit hunk of metal, I'm pretty pissed off at the entire PC world (yeah I know, small sample, but I don't have a lot of patience). A Mac seemed like a pretty safe and rather idiot-proof choice, so why would I not wait until the new one came out?

Here it is in its glory (?). Let's look at what it seems to have to offer.

ALL of the features?

"Stunning retina display" - Good graphics. From what I gather, I don't really have to care about this, since I'm not a photographer or a movie director. And for good measure, I'm going to make my own retina display right now. Here it is:

My blog now displays a retina. Retina display. Close enough.

"All-flash architecture" - I think this makes it faster? Aren't the normal MacBook Pro's supposed to be known for being fast? Anyway, I think the old AOL dial-up internet was faster than what my current laptop's giving me, so there's really nowhere to go but up.

"Thin.Light.Powerful." - It's a wee bit smaller than the old MacBook Pros. I suppose that's valid, although I never thought the older generation notebooks were too fat. Are we trying to hybridize with the  MacBook Air?

"The rest of the MacBook Pro family is faster than ever" - Well if the rest of the family is better...I see no reason to go for the new. This is most importantly because the "new" Pro doesn't come in a 13' option. Apple can try to pass this off as 15' being "better" for their new system, but I'm thinking it's just an opportunity to get rid of the cheapest option.

Here are the current listed prices for the new Pro (I know, my pictures suck. I don't have Photoshop; I have Paint):

LAWL at your asking price

The new Pro *starts* at nearly $2,200. Unless it's going to operate at top capacity for 4 years and make me sammiches on the side, I'm not throwing down 2k on a laptop.

If you know anything about the computer world, then you know more than I do. And if you have any suggestions as to where I should look for a new lappy (Mac or otherwise), please do write them below as comments and I will send plentiful smiles and good thoughts your way.

Much love.

Questionable Fashion Choices in Santa Monica

Cheers, I'm in Santa Monica, California for the summer!

Cali, brah! Weeee!
Source

I understand that a large part of life in So-Cal is looking super hawt all the time. It seems that people here are pretty constantly looking to stay on top of the latest fashion trends, but just because you're trying doesn't mean that you're succeeding.

I'm no Miranda Priestly (if you didn't get that reference, you should re-evaluate your life), but I can generally differentiate between what looks good and what doesn't. I know that Hollywood and all that jazz is out on this coast, but don't forget that not all new trends are winners.

Hey Cali, you lose 1,000 internet points simply for being
the epicenter of American Apparel and its ilk.
Source

Here are some of the more egregious (women's) fashion "don'ts" that I've come across in the last two weeks.

1. Uggs - I'm from New England and I own a few pairs of super-fuzzy boots myself, so who am I to criticize Uggs being worn here, right?

• First of all, unless you're located in the southern hemisphere, Uggs aren't even close to appropriate for late May/early April. Does no one respect the concept of seasonal dress anymore? Does this mean I can wear mini-skirts in the middle of a New England January?
• Second of all, you're wearing them with shorts. If we're going to start mixing everything up, I suppose I'll start wearing rainboots to work when it's sunny and I'll go for a jog in my favorite pair of stilettos. Okay.
• Third, aren't your ankles sweating like crazy? It's sunny and approximately 70 degrees here every day. You know why we wear Uggs in New England? Because it's 30 degrees and there are 2 inches of snow on the ground. People are AT THE BEACH right now and you're wearing furry boots? I can't.

2. Bikinis and Sneakers - On first glance, I said to myself, "well that's odd." Then, I realized that people are actually JOGGING on the beach in their bikinis. Sorry chicas, but a triangle top just doesn't provide the amount of support that the girls need for so much bouncing around. Fix it.

3. Yoga Pants - I like yoga pants as much as the next person, but they seem to adorn the buttocks of every single female living in the city of Santa Monica. I've recently been told that the yoga sensation is something of a fraud, and that most women sporting their Lululemon capris aren't really coming from yoga class. They just don't want to wear real pants. You have awesome quads, we get it. Now go put on some jeans.

4. High Heels - Call me old fashioned (or lame), but I generally reserve my heels for date nights and special occasions. Apparently, it's totally normal to wear them for a Saturday noontime stroll downtown. As a girl who is 4'10" and has a case of arthritis in her left foot that prevents me from wearing heels for long periods of time, I most heartily do not approve of this trend.

5. Seersucker, Sperry Topsiders, salmon pants, etc. - I actually laughed out loud (but actually, not just in the "I loled!" sense) the first time I saw a Brooks Brothers out here. It's cute that you're trying, but we've really got this look under control over on the east coast. It would be like trying to compete with France over berets. Don't bother.

6. Tattoos - Not technically clothing, although it basically could be here. It's not like I've never seen tattoos before, but it seems like EVERYONE here has at least one in a very visible place. I get that office culture tends to be more lax here than in the northeast, but jeeze. You all do know that it's permanent, right?

It's finals period and there's (practically) no good in this world

Oops, that's my life.

It's that most crucial time of the year -- finals period -- and like any good Harvard student, I'd like to stick my head in the sand and wait for the next week to pass me by. This time is already awful enough, but this year, Harvard seems to be going out of its way to make things even more unpleasant. Here is a list of ways that this school has managed to piss people off and make life harder within the last few weeks -- a sort of "what not to do ever again," if you will:

**All examples include a Target Unhappiness Population (TUP), which outlines who exactly bears the brunt of each atrocity. 

1. The Bells - So reading week is really the optimal time to invite a Russian bell ringer to give master classes? I understand that the Lowell bell tower is impervious to the Massachusetts noise ordinances, but that doesn't make it appropriate. And for the record, I didn't like today's Sunday ringing either.

        TUP - The entire River community

2. Gym Hours - So the MAC closes at 1pm and noon this weekend? In the middle of finals? When people most need to run in place and pick up heavy things to relieve stress? Awesome idea. Thanks.

        TUP - Anyone who ever works out

3. The Printer Fiasco - Last Friday, on the first day of exams (and the optimal time for most papers to be due), the printing situation looked like this: 

- Winthrop printer - broken (it still is)

- Lamont Library cafe printer - broken

- Crimson Cash (like, the money we use to print in public places) - system down

If you want my papers, FIX THIS.

        TUP - Humanities kids everywhere

4. Lack of Mammals - During finals periods, UCONN libraries bring in puppies and Mount Holyoke has rent-able bunnies (and I've heard of similar programs at other schools, too). Harvard has provided its students with no mammals (yes, I've heard there's a rent-able dog out there somewhere, but if I can't see it, it's not accessible).  

          TUP - Anyone who could use a small mammal to combat stress

It seems the only way Harvard knows how to deal with this time of year is to add more cake to the dining hall menus (which is a problem, because of number 2). It would be great if this school could get it together just a little bit more for the most stressful time of the year, here. 

On a last note, BIG THANK YOU to the tutors, housemasters, student groups, etc. who have picked up the College's slack to throw study breaks, organize fun activities, and generally make the lives of all students a little better.

Image source

Ultimate Misery: The Canker Sore

Nothing ruins your day quite like a canker sore (not a cold sore; those are outside the mouth). They hurt like absolute hell and although they only really stick around for a week or so, it feels like an eternity. And the worst part is waking up after a blissful night's sleep of not feeling it. For that 20 or so minutes after you get out of bed, it feels like acid is being poured into your mouth, and there's no stopping it.

This is not me, but they all pretty much look the same.
Source

If you've never seen one before, 1. You're lucky, and 2: ^^^

Basically, they're tiny puddles of fiery hell-sore.

And although the surface area is tiny, they tend to make an entire side of one's mouth feel like it's being operated on by a really shitty oral surgeon. For example, the canker sore I have right now is in the back of my left cheek, riiiiiight between where my teeth bite, so logically, the entire left side of my jaw and mouth hurts. Nice. Here's a short list of the daily activities that have been hindered by black hole ulcer in my mouth:

• Eating: Chewing is definitely out, so I've been living on cottage cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. (And no, chewing on one side doesn't help, because BOTH sides of my jaw go up and down, meaning that the sore will get hit even when there's no food there)
• Talking: If I've seemed reticent/sad/unusually quiet, it's not because I don't like you (well, maybe, but the odds are low). It's because talking moves everything around and if words aren't critical, they're not worth it right now.
• Teeth Brushing: Between the  bristles and the toothpaste, this sucks. My obsessive need for dental hygiene requires me to power through it though; I fight cavities at all costs. 
• Drinking (and not in the alcohol sense): You can basically swallow food on one side (more or less), but liquid spreads out everywhere and burns. Pro-tip: don't go for the carbonated beverages...
• Gum Chewing: Just don't bother.
• General Happiness: Constant pain leads to constant irritation/pissed-off-ed-ness. Although to be fair, I get frustrated/angry extremely easily when I'm in pain of any sort. From now on, I'm calling them Cranky Sores©

But every once in a while, a few minutes goes by when you forgot that it's there. There's no pain. Maybe it's starting to heal. So you smile a bit, start to say "Hooray" and...

Epic rage time
Source

...it's back.