Technological Struggle and Woe: Part 100,002

The incompetence of Hewlett Packard knows no bounds. NO BOUNDS. After this epic fail, I had them send out another box so that they could attempt once again to convince me that they don't totally suck. After the second box was shipped out so that HP could fix the mistakes that they made, I found out that the friendly customer service representative did not write "Staples" on the address label. Therefore, FedEx refused to deliver the empty box to the address, which is a business complex. Okay, fine. What was not fine was that FedEx did not call me to let me know about this hang up. I only found out about it because, having lost all faith in tech support everywhere, I checked the box's tracking number to find that it never left the shipping station in South Boston. Ironic, because there is a FedEx shipping depot right in Harvard Square. But leaving it there would have been too practical for the hate-mongers technicians who have so taken it upon themselves to push my buttons.

Why still in South Boston. WHY. GO TO CAMBRIDGE.

I can fix this problem, right? I call FedEx to politely tell them that it needs to be delivered to Staples. Interestingly, I'm informed that they do not have the jurisdiction to change any part of the shipping address. I'll have to call HP to have them write the word "Staples" on the box. This is an empty box. They cannot write the word "Staples" on a box full of air.

At this point, I'm pretty ripshit that HP has screwed me over for the umpteenth time, so I call their customer care pissmeoff line to sort things out. After 45 minutes of hell on the phone, I learn that HP DOES NOT HAVE THE JURISDICTION TO CHANGE AN ADDRESS THAT THEY WROTE. Thusly, they are sending yet another box to Massachusetts, this one with the word "Staples" on the label. I will arrive in 24-48 business hours.

I'm pretty damn convinced that HP actually stands for Hate&Petulance. Never have I ever experienced customer service in any capacity as incompetent and hindered by red tape as that which I've been dealing with for the last month and a half. The very ice of a thousand virgin strawberry daiquiris could not begin to quell the red hot ire that burns within my soul every time I think about how long I have been separated from my lappy.

I hate HP. I hate that company with the white-hot intensity of a nuclear catastrophe. Never again will I purchase a product with their sorry label on it. Just for the record, the only reason that I've stayed on this carousel of horror for as long as I have is because my laptop is still under warranted, and being pissed off for two months costs a lot less than purchasing a new piece of technology. But after this, it's all over. And I will not be shy about telling everyone I come into contact with that HP's customer service department is populated with insufferable fools. FOOLS, I TELL YOU.

This is me.