It's finals period and there's (practically) no good in this world

Oops, that's my life.

It's that most crucial time of the year -- finals period -- and like any good Harvard student, I'd like to stick my head in the sand and wait for the next week to pass me by. This time is already awful enough, but this year, Harvard seems to be going out of its way to make things even more unpleasant. Here is a list of ways that this school has managed to piss people off and make life harder within the last few weeks -- a sort of "what not to do ever again," if you will:

**All examples include a Target Unhappiness Population (TUP), which outlines who exactly bears the brunt of each atrocity. 

1. The Bells - So reading week is really the optimal time to invite a Russian bell ringer to give master classes? I understand that the Lowell bell tower is impervious to the Massachusetts noise ordinances, but that doesn't make it appropriate. And for the record, I didn't like today's Sunday ringing either.

        TUP - The entire River community

2. Gym Hours - So the MAC closes at 1pm and noon this weekend? In the middle of finals? When people most need to run in place and pick up heavy things to relieve stress? Awesome idea. Thanks.

        TUP - Anyone who ever works out

3. The Printer Fiasco - Last Friday, on the first day of exams (and the optimal time for most papers to be due), the printing situation looked like this: 

- Winthrop printer - broken (it still is)

- Lamont Library cafe printer - broken

- Crimson Cash (like, the money we use to print in public places) - system down

If you want my papers, FIX THIS.

        TUP - Humanities kids everywhere

4. Lack of Mammals - During finals periods, UCONN libraries bring in puppies and Mount Holyoke has rent-able bunnies (and I've heard of similar programs at other schools, too). Harvard has provided its students with no mammals (yes, I've heard there's a rent-able dog out there somewhere, but if I can't see it, it's not accessible).  

          TUP - Anyone who could use a small mammal to combat stress

It seems the only way Harvard knows how to deal with this time of year is to add more cake to the dining hall menus (which is a problem, because of number 2). It would be great if this school could get it together just a little bit more for the most stressful time of the year, here. 

On a last note, BIG THANK YOU to the tutors, housemasters, student groups, etc. who have picked up the College's slack to throw study breaks, organize fun activities, and generally make the lives of all students a little better.

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Reading Period/Finals Post

Don't tell me that I don't have time for this post, because I already know. There are papers to write, projects to finish, and... I don't know, other knowledge to acquire.

Fortunately, as a concentrator in the humanities, I have no standard finals (as in, no three hour sessions) this semester. But before you say "ZOMG I HATE YOU," remember that this means that all of my papers, projects, and take home finals are due before finals period. Basically, I am not slacking off during finals while the science concentrators occupy the libraries. I'm just doing it all a week early.

Reading period/finals is a time of high stress, tears (especially when this happens) and simply not enough sleep. Here's a tiny list of ways I know it's...that time of the semester again.

Here's what finals period means to me:

• My diet consists mainly of high-sugar foods and caffeinated beverages. I have a theory that as long as I keep drinking Diet Coke, I won't have to sleep. Ever. This also means that I become particularly hyperactive by about 11:30pm every night.

Probs why my brain feels like it's exploding.
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• My flash drive is forever hooked to my wallet and keys. As I run all over the place, from dorm to library to dhall to study room, I end up writing papers on so many different computers that I don't bother saving content to actual machines anymore. Consequently, my entire life is saved on this here flash drive.

If this ever gets lost, I'm dropping out of school.

• I never leave Winthrop House. I choose not to study in libraries because 1. I simply won't surround myself with that much stress and 2. I'm too ADHD to study/write paper writing without walking around every once in a while, which is glared at and frowned upon in Lamont and Widener. Instead, I live in my room and in the dhall, where I don't feel like the silence is eating me, I can sit in un-lady-like poses, and no one will stop me from bouncing around with glee whenever I finish a paragraph.

And here are some more general indicators of the finals season.

• Everyone either looks really classy or really sloppy. Classiness means that they haven't had time to do laundry and all they have left are dress clothes. Sloppy means that they roll out of bed, change from PJs to sweats and go about their business (I fall into the latter category). Normal dress is scarce during finals period.

These count as real pants, right?
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• People camp in libraries. I've seen people bring pillow, blankets, and entire meals to their cubicles in order to make sure they never lose their precious study spots. Last year, someone brought a rice cooker. I've seen people leave their belongings while they run home to shower (for hours). And when a new library patron removes a camper's belongings, performing a coup d'etat of their study carol, well, civil war ensues. Are we seeing why I don't frequent the library during this time of year anymore?

Please, just leave every once in a while.
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• The I'm-so-busy competition goes into full swing. Example:
• Student 1: Ohmygod I have so much work to do. I have like 4 papers and 4 finals.
• Student 2: Yeah, well I have papers to write and 4 exams in 2 days and I'm working a shift at the homeless shelter.
• Student 3: Yeah, well I have 4 exams at the same time on the same day and I'm rescuing kittens with the ASPCA on that day.
• Student 4: Yeah, well I have to turn in a project and take an astrophysics exam right after I moderate a GOP debate.

Guess what. We all have things to do.

The point is, we're almost done and this is certainly not the time to lose our sanity. Finals period sucks, but it sucks for every single person on campus. It's a stressful, tiring, and not a whole lot of fun, but we'll have the entire month of January to sleep it off. Let's just throw ourselves a pity party and move on.

But actually.
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