Technological Struggle and Woe: Part 100,001

Hi, my name is April and I will never purchase an HP product again. But let me back up and explain.

Today, my laptop came home to me. If you don't know, it's been out floating around the American midwest for the last month and a half due to a lot of miscommunication and thanks to a certain Staples employee for not sending it out until 2 weeks after he promised to. But today, I cast all of that frustration aside. I even looked past the fact that a FedEx employee called me at the ungodly hour of 7:30am this morning to verify the shipping address. Whatever. My laptop is back. FINALLY.

So I walked home with my toy, beaming and giddy. Open the package to find all of the pieces. Score. They broke a piece of plastic off the corner, which kind of dampened the mood, but at that point, I was so happy to have it back that I was willing to overlook the lumps and bumps of the road. According to the repair sheet, my fan and heat sink were both replaced and my system was reverted to original Windows settings due to a software malfunction. Cool.

What was not cool was when I turned on my lappy to see that my system had in fact not been reverted to the original Windows settings. In fact, not one of my customizations or programs had been altered. I can only assume that they simply didn't fix the software problem.

Okay, really not thrilled at this point, but all I want to do right now is video chat on Skype. I've been missing my video chat for quite a while now and I just want it back. So I turn on Skype, click the "video call" button and WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO SOUND CARD DETECTED? As in, no functional microphone or speakers. Okay, now I am angry. I was willing to deal with one mistake, then two, but I need sound. My best guess is that they took out the sound card when they went to replace the fan and just never put it back in. Okay, I suck with technology, but I know that if you're left with spare parts, you've probably done something wrong. The sound card is either screwed into the machine, or it's not. If it's lying on the table next to your elbow, take 60 more seconds and put it back in the laptop. Noticing whether or not you have spare parts when you shouldn't is not rocket science.

Aw, hello no. Not tolerable.

At this point, I am at my wits' end and gearing up to call the HP support line to give them a piece of my mind. Nicely, that is, because I know it's not actually the guy on the phone's fault.

No device? I want to punch HP in the solar plexus right now.

The next hour consisted of demands that came in the form of pleas, a few tears of frustration, and conversations with at least 4 HP operators. The final verdict is that yet another repair box will be shipped to me tomorrow, I will say goodbye to my laptop yet again, and resume the pattern of sad, lonely nights that I've fallen into in the past week. Despite my testy insisting that I am now sending this out for a second time with new and improved issues, I was told that no one had the authority to expedite the shipping. Yeah right. I'm guessing that's because I'm a lowly peon and not some CEO who wants his lappy fixed NAO or he'll sue. Anyway, I did receive promises that my case will have an ostentatious "customer is pissed, so fix this quickly, and fix it correctly" notification on it. Or something along those lines.

And that's why I will never buy another HP product. Because I am currently a woefully unsatisfied customer.

Also, HP still thinks that my last name is "Sterry." Even though I spell it as "ess as in sam, pee as in peter, e, r, r, y" and I tell them "like the shoe company." 1. Why would I ever say "tee as in teter?" and 2. There is no Sterry shoe company. Or maybe there is and they make knock off boating shoes. Like, canoeing shoes or something. But that's a side rant.