Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The World's Most Awkward Sunburn

It's not the one that turns you into a lobster from the back and it's not the one that results in awkward sandal tan lines. It's the head sunburn, the one that you get in the strip of scalp where your hair parts. There's not much you can do about it besides rock the up-do or wear a hat. Unfortunately, My newly short hair looks kind of ridic. in a ponytail, and I so can't pull off hats.

The part-sunburn, which will now be referred to as the partburn, is an elusive creature. One would never think to sunscreen his or her head, because that's greasy and icky. The beating of the sun feels hot, but not dangerous and I generally assume that so long as my cheeks and arms aren't turning pink, that my Native American/Italian genes are effectively keeping the UV rays at bay. It's not until I get into the shower at night that I realize the misfortune that has befallen me. It's always the same: step under the perfectly-temperatured stream of water and WHY IS MY SCALP ON FIRE AND IS THIS WATER OR BOILING OIL? What a pleasant surprise. When I actually look in the mirror, the awkward red stripe on my head is practically glowing. Fantastic, now my head is partially discolored and shampooing feels like self-mutilation and torture.

It gets even better in the following week or so. Like any sunburn, the partburn often peels, which looks an awful lot like dandruff. So now my head is cherry-lollipop red, it itches, which often results in me scratching my head like a confused capuchin monkey, and now it looks like I could use a bottle of Head and Shoulders. Perfect. Love summer.

In other news, I also walked into a sign in the bookstore, because fortune has decided to rain itself upon me.

This summer, I struggle.

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