Sunday, December 26, 2010

I wish I wrote a sweet blog.

I wish I had a themed blog -- something that people could click on and know what to expect from. Everyone seems to have blogs with some sort of order, but my ideas just seem to bounce around at random. Like atoms. I just made a science joke. Anyway, I guess that makes it a rather accurate depiction of what goes on inside of my head. Here's a list of blogs that I wish that I wrote:

1. Humor/Drawing blog - I love the blogs with stick figure drawings in combination with humorous narratives. I wish that I was witty and talented with my laptop's Paint feature. Alas, there are a few kinks in this setup. I, personally, think that I'm a riot, but I'm pretty sure that the rest of the world is laughing at me, rather than with me. Oh, and I can't draw anything besides misshapen flowers and spray painted lines on Paint. Maybe that's because I'm artistically challenged in real life as well.

Now, why can't I come up with witty drawings like this? Sidenote: I really enjoy this ven-diagram.

2. Food blog - This would indicate that I regularly cook delicious desserts and sweet treats (because I wouldn't even think of writing a food blog about anything other than deserts). Unfortunately, I'm not patient enough to cook (which is the real reason that I eat so many raw foods) and I'm really not Paula Dean on the inside. Thinking of the positives, not centering my life around desserts is probably better for the waistline. I'm not that willing to be Paula Dean, y'all.


3. Political humor blog - Unfortunately, I'm far too overwhelmed by the political atmosphere to write a political blog and fend those who would feel it their duty to tell me why my opinions are wrong.  Oh, and I really don't want to be indicted for some sort of unintentional libel or slander. Sometimes, the government scares me. And by sometimes, I mean most of the time. I don't think I'd really fit in in prison.

Political correctness has a butt-chin.

4. Wild and Crazy Adventures - This would be a really cool idea if I partied harder, broke more rules, or lived a little closer to the edge. Too bad I'm relatively mild mannered and not much of an initiator. I think people would be suspicious if I suddenly started living a more Ke$ha-inspired life.

It's really more of a Halloween costume than a lifestyle.

5. Advice column - How sweet would it be if people came to me with their problems and I could advise their troubles away? I mean, I can't stop myself from reading the advice columns in my newspapers and magazines, even though sometimes their petty subjects make me want to buy a full page Ad that says "SUCK IT UP." If I had an advice column, I would only answer the most interesting morally gut-twisting questions. Now wouldn't that just make me a hero? This plan has it's flaws, though. For starts, I've got enough problems of my own; I couldn't begin to worry about other people's issues. Furthermore, I'm simply not a good advisor. I'm an indecisive pansy in real life. Ah well, people's problems are better left in Abby's hands, anyway.

Wait, if I could charge for it, why would I give dish it out for free?

The moral of the story is, I wish that I had the vision and resolve to give my blog some sort of order, but I'm just too disorganized for all of that. There's not much direction going on upstairs, so I suppose that a cohesive blog with clear direction would just make for a rather misleading representation of who I am. I have ideas sometimes. I like to write about them. Cool.

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