Pre-class academic struggles

First world disaster: I'm too indecisive to choose classes. Looking at the course catalog for this semester, I've realized that... I want to take EVERYTHING. By that, I mean that I have 11 classes vying for my 3 (or 4) open slots. Can I help it if everything looks interesting? No. Can I help it if I'm horribly indecisive? Well, probably, but I don't really feel like trying to tackle that one.

I have one class set, my English honors tutorial. Unfortunately, the class time for tutorials is chosen at the first meeting, meaning that I can't even narrow down the rest of my schedule based on timing. Le sigh. The normal course load here is 4 classes per semester. I did the 5 class thing last semester, and promised myself I wouldn't again, but how am I honestly supposed to narrow 12 classes down into 4? I might have to go with 5 again. In true Tim Gunn style, I can make it work!

Thank the academic gods above for shopping week. It's pretty clear that I need a week to sit in on everything I'm looking at to figure out what to take. What I mean by that is "I really hope that something sucks, so that narrowing things down will be easier." Here's my current shopping week schedule:

At least Friday's free, no?

So, I may have bit off more than I can chew, as is evidenced by the fact that this calender looks like an entire Crayola box threw up on it (again, it would be really helpful if a few of these turned out to be terrible at the first meeting). There's a chance that two English classes, an English tutorial, an Italian literature class, and a GenEd course absolutely will might be quite a lot of reading, but I've been doing my best to convince myself that reading is my thing. I read like a champ. Books actually quiver in my wake because they know that I will read the crap out of them.

Okay, so I probably won't do the 5 class thing again, but that leaves me in the awkward position of having to cast something aside, which threatens to rend my saddened heart into two despondent pieces.

If anyone is shopping any of the classes shown above, let me know, because I love having a seat buddy (read: not having to sit alone like that girl with no friends). Oddly enough, approximately 99% (totally arbitrary statistic) of my amigos are in the maths and sciences, so I haven't received a ton of suggestions from them. Boo. In the meantime, I'll continue to ask "which seat can I take?"** until I show up to lecture and find that all of the seats are, in fact, already occupied. Hate that.

**Don't judge me. I'll never pass up a lame pun if I can help it.

My opinion of Jane Austen

I'm willing to give every author two chances. For example, I read Of Mice and Men in middle school, with an awful teacher and thus, was left with disdain for Mr. Steinbeck. However, in high school, I gave him another chance with East of Eden and I'm insanely glad of it. I was completely taken with East of Eden found a new love for John Steinbeck. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

Well, it's a nice sentiment, anyway.

Barf my brains out.

Wrong. As an English major, I should probably worship Jane Austen. I mean, her name is basically synonymous with classic novels. I started with Emma, excited to begin my foray into Jane Austen. I wanted to like it. I tried to like it. But I just couldn't. And for the next year, I steered clear of Austen's works, unwilling to submit myself to her trite and overworked ideas again. But like I said, everyone deserves a second chance, no? So I tried (and just today finished) Sense and Sensibility. It was painful. I've come to the conclusion that I just can't stand Austen's writing style. Here are a few things that I just can't stand about Austen's style:



1. SO.WORDY: Seriously. Each page seems as if a thesaurus threw up on it just before it was published. Austen is a master of exceeding the word limit and repeating one thought a thousand ways. If any modern day editor got a hold of one of her manuscripts, the story would be cut in half before it ever reached the publishing house.

2. Syrupy, sappy vocabulary: Not everything in the world is "pleasant," "lovely," "amiable," or "agreeable." I don't think that I could put together a more empty list of words if I tried. If someone described me with any of these adjectives, I would consider myself dull, dull, and dull.

3. Everyone talks around their thoughts: In the eternal quest to be non-confrontational and politically correct, characters talk around their real emotions. But don't worry; scenes are always pleasant and agreeable. Everything is so...polite. ARG.

4. Disgustingly happy endings: Everyone ends up marrying exactly who they should, broken hearts are mended, and you're left with a sickeningly sweet aftertaste left in your mouth. NOT real life.

Well, this was a mistake

The worst part is, I did this to myself. I read Sense and Sensibility of my own volition. I know that I'll be faced with Pride and Prejudice sometime before I'm allowed to accept my English degree and I'm already dreading it. I don't want to read it, I don't want to analyze it, and I don't want to write a paper on it. But I suppose that's getting ahead of myself. For now, I'll relish the time that I'm spared from her works.

Please, god NO.

Call me a bad English major. I can take it.