Sunday, April 1, 2012

Ultimate Misery: The Canker Sore

Nothing ruins your day quite like a canker sore (not a cold sore; those are outside the mouth). They hurt like absolute hell and although they only really stick around for a week or so, it feels like an eternity. And the worst part is waking up after a blissful night's sleep of not feeling it. For that 20 or so minutes after you get out of bed, it feels like acid is being poured into your mouth, and there's no stopping it.

This is not me, but they all pretty much look the same.
If you've never seen one before, 1. You're lucky, and 2: ^^^

Basically, they're tiny puddles of fiery hell-sore.

And although the surface area is tiny, they tend to make an entire side of one's mouth feel like it's being operated on by a really shitty oral surgeon. For example, the canker sore I have right now is in the back of my left cheek, riiiiiight between where my teeth bite, so logically, the entire left side of my jaw and mouth hurts. Nice. Here's a short list of the daily activities that have been hindered by black hole ulcer in my mouth:
  • Eating: Chewing is definitely out, so I've been living on cottage cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. (And no, chewing on one side doesn't help, because BOTH sides of my jaw go up and down, meaning that the sore will get hit even when there's no food there)
  • Talking: If I've seemed reticent/sad/unusually quiet, it's not because I don't like you (well, maybe, but the odds are low). It's because talking moves everything around and if words aren't critical, they're not worth it right now.
  • Teeth Brushing: Between the  bristles and the toothpaste, this sucks. My obsessive need for dental hygiene requires me to power through it though; I fight cavities at all costs. 
  • Drinking (and not in the alcohol sense): You can basically swallow food on one side (more or less), but liquid spreads out everywhere and burns. Pro-tip: don't go for the carbonated beverages...
  • Gum Chewing: Just don't bother.
  • General Happiness: Constant pain leads to constant irritation/pissed-off-ed-ness. Although to be fair, I get frustrated/angry extremely easily when I'm in pain of any sort. From now on, I'm calling them Cranky Sores©
But every once in a while, a few minutes goes by when you forgot that it's there. There's no pain. Maybe it's starting to heal. So you smile a bit, start to say "Hooray" and...

Epic rage time
Source's back.

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