2. It's darker than subterranean cave. Like, for real. I shouldn't have to use a snake lamp to illuminate my clothing. BUT I DO. It's only a matter of time before stalactites form and bats rush at me when I open the door.
|Oh look at that. It's my closet.|
|GIVE ME BACK MY SHOES.|
5. Pitch dark + epic mess of shoes = April spending an inordinate amount of time staring at the ground and rifling through a mess. Upon standing up, vertigo ensues, I want to barf, and I'm forced to re-acclimate my eyes to standard lighting. Solution: Sue my closet for medical costs.
|Teach me your ways, Bill O'Reilly.|