1. Angry birds/other animal hats - I resent your extra-long earflaps and bulbous head shapes. So tacky. If wearing an angry bird hat makes me angry, am I meta?
2. Personalize-able ornaments - They're cheap looking, they're cheaply made, and they went out of style like, 30 years ago. Fanny packs : fashion :: these ornaments : Christmas decorations.
|I hate these kiosks.|
|This is a useless gift.|
4. Christmas sausage gift baskets - No one needs that much cured meat. Ever. It's nasty, just like the accompanying crackers and cheeses. And the idea of letting meat logs sit under a tree is just questionable. Sausage is not a gift.
5. Toe socks - It's kind of hard to explain this one, but I hate them. They're neither comfortable nor attractive and they just don't fit in shoes. Some people think it's acceptable to wear them with flip flops in the winter, but I call those people fools. Also, that hasn't been fashionable since the 7th grade. I just have a lot of problems with toe socks.
|I especially hate his toes.|
So don't purchase these gifts for your loved ones, kay? You can do better. All of the above presents say "I didn't know what to get, so I closed my eyes and pointed at something." That is not classy and it is not acceptable. I didn't put the fruitcake on this list because I thought it would be too obvious. All of the above gifts are analogous to the fruitcake. Nobody likes fruitcake.